Slow Week

Friday of my third off-week now. This hasn't been the same routine as my previous two off-weeks.

Monday and Tuesday I think I felt better then I felt on Monday and Tuesday of the previous two cycles. I was pumped, expecting to be ready to run a marathon by the end of the week. However, by late Tuesday or early Wednesday, some of the Radiation effects were kicking in. I have sores inside my nose that, as silly as it sounds, are making me crazy. They hurt and I get nosebleeds several times a day. My neck is getting blistery and is sore to go along with it. Mouth sores are the worst they've been with my tongue looking pretty gross. And my throat is WAY sore. It feels like I'm swallowing glass any time I swallow anything -- Saliva, Water, whatever.

To go along with all this, the whole dry mouth, thick saliva thing is kicking in, amplifying the difficulty swallowing problem. You know how every once in a while you accidentally inhale something wrong and some saliva gets into your windpipe and you gag, perceiving that you're going to die? That happens eight or ten times a day. The other night I had a really good episode in the middle of the night. Scared me and Jenny to death.

I had my weekly appointment with the Nurse Practitioner at the Oncologist's office Thursday. I was really expecting (hoping) her to tell me that the sore throat was, again, the result of a virus or infection that she could treat and make it go away. No go. She said this was all just par for the course. Her treatment suggestion was to increase the pain medication.

I mentioned my hands a while back. They continue to hurt -- good days and bad. Over the course of the last week or so I've peeled a layer, at least, of skin off my palms and fingers. But on bad days I have trouble buttoning my shirt or opening a prescription bottle.

On top of this, my sleep problems have resurfaced. The last few nights I've been waking up about 2:00 or 3:00 in the morning. A little snoozing in the recliner between there and morning, but not real sleep and it's catching up with me.

I've been kinda hoarse for quite a while now but, today, my voice is completely gone. I can whisper but that's it.

A summary, then? Very tired, sore throat, thick disgusting saliva, blistery neck, sore/bleeding nose and painful hands. Not quite the rosy picture I painted about the weekend at the end of my two previous off-weeks. I'm a little disappointed but, as I keep telling Jenny, as crappy as I feel, I don't feel as crappy as I THOUGHT I was going to feel by now back when this all started. So I'm better off than I thought I was going to be -- a big positive.

On the fine dining front, I'm getting my nutrition exclusively from my feeding tube now. I still eat Jello but nothing else. It hurts to eat but, more than that, everything tastes bad. Metallic. I don't know why Jello still tastes OK but I'll take it. Pretty much one batch per day. Jenny and I are going to dinner tonight with Liz and Keith. This will be our first time out for quite a while and our first time period since I quit eating. Should be an interesting experience.

And don't take this wrong, my overall body feels pretty decent other than fatigue. The pain is localized. I've been able to get a fair amount of work done from home this week. I have to work in a nap here and there, of course, but I've felt a little more productive this week.

So, I've painted a bit of a negative picture today. Sorry. Three weeks from today I'll be receiving my last Radiation Treatments, getting ready to go in and get my 5FU pump off the next morning for the last time. Not really that far away, is it?